After dinner, the smoke cleared enough that I could take my dog to the river. I sat on the crumbling wall of the bank while he splashed below, gulping water and looking for a log to roll and roll. The sun was an organic egg yolk, crazy orange and while it made me sad that its wild, unnatural …
Essays
The News
It is still early, the sun just up. As I come down the stairs for my first cup of coffee, I see the eastern sky is orange and smarmy like a sticky film covers the sun. There is a pall over everything. I felt it before I remembered as if my body had held onto the news all night when my brain relaxed …
Call Me By My Name
This morning at the studio, women are oohing and aahing over the new yoga and workout merchandise. Sleeveless, spring tanks in soft mauve and leggings in ombre grey, trending colors and patterns I have glimpsed in athletic wear catalogues and online. But there is one tank in particular that has …
The 19 Year Goodbye
Nicole Kate is 3. She stands at the edge of the dock and looks down into the water. She is old enough now to remember our warnings: it is too deep for her. She doesn’t know how to swim. But she thinks no one is watching and this is why I watch her now with a mix of curiosity and horror. It is too …
On-Call Angels
The story is a form of a fish tale in reverse, condensed with each telling, cinched down to its singular, salient point. I select my listeners carefully; they are the ones who already believe. Here is the story: I am standing at the used bookstore. I am leaving town the next morning and I have …
Body Grammar
“How is your body today?” my husband asks. It is a good question and I should thank him for simply asking. It is also an umbrella question, one that covers all manner of ills. I am rereading Jane Austen’s Persuasion, and all manner of ills sounds like something psychosomatic Mary Musgrove might …
Keeping a Pen on Hand
I am 45 years old and I have started writing on my hand the way the middle schoolers do even though the teachers have outlawed it a distraction and an ugly habit. My 13-year old daughter comes home with hearts in the crook of her left hand: “I love you” exclamation point, exclamation point, …
Lending Library
At dinner I surprise my family with my response to the question: what is your biggest pet peeve? “People who borrow my books and don’t return them.” My children’s eyes widen more than a little. This is a far cry from the generosity I preach but I am unapologetic. When I think about my books, …